A Bill To Regulate The Hunting And Harvesting Of Attorneys

372.01 -Any person with a valid state rodent or armadillo hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sporting (non-commercial) purposes.

372.02 -Taking of attorneys with traps or dead falls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait is, however, prohibited.

372.03 -The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash.

372.04 -It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.

372.05 -It is unlawful to shout "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

372.06 -It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW, Mercedes, or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoons.

372.07 -It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs or hospitals.

372.08 -If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess the same.

372.09 -It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

372.10 -Bag Limits Per Day:

Yellow-bellied Sidewinders: 2

Two-faced Tort-feasors: 1

Back-stabbing Divorce Litigators: 3

Horn-rimmed Cut-throats: 2

Minutiae-advocating Chickens: 4

Honest Attorneys: 0 (Protected, Endangered species.)